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Personal quirk? I’d totally hire one – not for sex, dahling, but to spill their stories! Imagine the tea! “I blink to say yes,” like in the movie – I’d blink a million times to hear an escort’s craziest night. One time, I read this escort’s blog – she banged a dude who paid in rare coins. Coins! Who does that? Laughed my ass off – genius or nutjob? Probs both.

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Anyway, I grab a tea instead. Not the same, but whatever. I’m walking down through the park by the river Drava, and it’s kinda nice. Kids are playing, old folks are feeding ducks. I’m like, “Aww, this is cute.” But then, BAM! A kid runs into me, and I spill my tea all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I lost a fight with a teapot.