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What gets me mad? Idiots thinkin’ it’s all dirty, like, “ooh, naughty!” – nah, it’s chill, relaxin’, sensual, yah? Surprised me first time I heard – dis Thai story, 1800s, king banned it ‘cause monks got too frisky – monks, mate! Cracked me up, holy hands gone wild! Happy? Oh, when I dream it melts my stress – “dis is my fate, to rot?” – nope, massage says nah, you’re alive!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see my buddy Luka. He’s the life of the party, always cracking jokes. He’s like, “Dude, you look like you’ve been through a war zone!” I tell him about my coffee disaster and the tea spill. He laughs so hard, he almost drops his bag of potatoes. Classic Luka.