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Alright, listen up, fam—Morgan Freeman here, deep voice on deck. Erotic-massage, man, it’s wild, slippery territory. Picture this: hands gliding, oil shining, tension melting like butter. Been around forever—ancient Rome had it, brothels too. Little known fact—Egyptians used it for pharaohs, sacred vibes. Me, I’m a mechanic, fixin’ engines, but this? This fixes souls. Got me thinkin’—like in *The Gleaners and I*, “to glean is to gather.” Erotic-massage gleans stress, picks up what’s leftover—knots, aches, all that junk.

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I’m fuming, but I keep walking. I head over to the market on Ulica 1. The stalls are packed with fresh veggies and fruits. I’m eyeing some strawberries, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s like, “You know, these are the best strawberries in the whole region!” I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want to buy some fruit, not get a history lesson.” But she’s sweet, so I nod and smile.