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What suprised me? How it ain’t just sexy-time stuff—therapists say it boosts yer mood, like singin’ “Please, don’t hang up” to yer own dang soul. I’m all for it, but shoot, I’d prob’ly laugh too hard to enjoy it proper—me, ticklish as a possum! Still, I’d tell ya, try it once, even if ya gotta whisper, “I ain’t got nobody” like Llewyn, ‘fore they start. Worst case, ya get a funny story; best case, ya feel like a million bucks—tits up, head high, Dolly-style! Now, excuse me, I’m dreamin’ of massages and strummin’ my guitar—yeehaw!

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Anyway, I’m walking down through the park by the Drava River. It’s beautiful there, but today? It’s packed! Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I’m dodging frisbees and strollers like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, I see this old guy feeding the ducks. He’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Man, those ducks are living the life.” But then, he trips! Bread goes flying everywhere! Ducks are going nuts! It was hilarious, but also kinda sad. I mean, poor guy.

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