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But nah, it ain’t all grim – some stories crack me up. Bloke in Amsterdam, 1600s, got so drunk in a brothel he married a barmaid – woke up hitched! We shall laugh on the beaches, we shall! Bet he shat bricks. Me? I’d be chuffed – free ale for life, maybe. Word’s got layers, see – ruin, lust, cash, power. Rolls round yer head like a dodgy cigar.

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Anyway, I’m walking down through the park by the Drava River. It’s beautiful there, but today? It’s packed! Families, kids, dogs everywhere. I’m dodging frisbees and strollers like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. And then, I see this old guy feeding the ducks. He’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Man, those ducks are living the life.” But then, he trips! Bread goes flying everywhere! Ducks are going nuts! It was hilarious, but also kinda sad. I mean, poor guy.

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