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So, lemme tell ya, findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ Krabby Patties. Nope! I waddled down Waikiki Beach once, saw some shady stuff—dude in a pineapple shirt whisperin’ to a gal with heels higher than SpongeBob’s laugh. Made me mad, kinda! Why’s everyone sneakin’ around? Just be loud, like, “HI I WANT A HUG!” But nah, they’re all hush-hush. Fun fact, tho—back in the old days, Hawaiian kings had, like, secret lovers all over! Prostitutes too, prolly. History’s wild, man!

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Then, I hit up the park by the river. You know, the one with the ducks? I love that place. I sit down, take a deep breath, and BAM! A kid runs by, chasing a ball, and knocks my drink over. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, kid?!” But then I see his face, all wide-eyed and sorry, and I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re a trip.

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