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So, picture this: dim lights, oil slickin’ everywhere, hands just—whoosh—glidin’ like pros. It’s not just a massage, it’s a freakin’ *journey*! Little fact for ya—didja know ancient Greeks were all over this? Yeah, they called it somethin’ fancy, like “hedonistic touch”—total party animals! Makes me happy thinkin’ how they’d just chill, gettin’ pampered, no shame. But ugh, what pisses me off? When folks judge it—like, c’mon, Karen, live a little!

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Then, I hit up the park by the river. You know, the one with the ducks? I love that place. I sit down, take a deep breath, and BAM! A kid runs by, chasing a ball, and knocks my drink over. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Really, kid?!” But then I see his face, all wide-eyed and sorry, and I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They’re a trip.

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