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About Velenje

Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet walkin’ in—D’oh!—and spill beer everywhere. Made me mad once, hearin’ how some girls get stuck there, trapped-like. Pisses me off, man! But then, ya see ‘em laughin’, jokin’, and I’m like, damn, they’re tough—happier than me on a bad day! Surprised me, for sure. “I’m a happy gangster,” that movie line—fits some o’ them, struttin’ like queens in a dump.

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First call comes in. Some dude on Ulica Kralja Tomislava is freaking out. His cat, Mr. Whiskers, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a rocket scientist.” But no, he’s losing it. I send a crew over, and they’re like, “Dude, it’s just a cat.” But whatever, Mr. Whiskers is saved, and I get a thank-you text. Score one for me!