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Best part? When she’s all, “Relax, big boy,” and I’m like, “I’m the king, bitch!” Worst? When they half-ass it—no happy endin’, just a pat and “bye!” Makes me wanna keelhaul ‘em! Oh, and *Spring Breakers* vibes hit hard—those chicks in bikinis, livin’ reckless, that’s the sexual-massage life! “Spring break forever, bitches!”—oily, messy, fuckin’ glorious! You try it, tell ‘em Cartman sent ya—they’ll shit themselves! Respect my authoritah, or I’m sailin’ off, assholes!

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I’m trying to keep it together, but I’m also laughing. Like, dude, you had one job! Anyway, I get him sorted out, and he’s back to wagging his tail. Happy ending, right? But then, just as I’m about to breathe, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree. Seriously? It’s like a scene from a cheesy movie.

Slovenia - Salesian Forum of Slovenia Province at start of school year