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Favorite part? When they hit that lower back, oh man, it’s like “the truth isn’t enough” – ya don’t need words, just groans. Surprised me how good it feels, like I’m floatin’ outta my body, gladiator scars and all. But if they skimp on the oil? Pisses me off! Dry hands? Get outta here, you cheapskate! I’m yellin’, “Don’t you dare lie to me!” like Judge Judy catchin’ a fib. One time, this chick’s hands were shakin’ – rookie move – and I’m thinkin’, “Girl, you’re gonna ruin my vibe!” Total buzzkill.

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I want to hear you whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I'm crazy about French Kissing and Intimate massage! I'm a lover of music, art, and all things creative.

I’m trying to catch her, but she’s too quick. I’m flapping my arms like a lunatic, and everyone’s staring. I’m like, “Yeah, this is my life now.” Finally, I manage to grab her with a towel. The crowd goes wild! I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I realize I’ve lost my coffee. Great. Just great.

Slovenia – An Oratory for the Family