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About Maribor

I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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First thing, I hit up that little café on Trg Slobode. You know the one? The one with the weirdly good pastries. I grab a coffee, and this dude spills it all over my lap. Like, seriously? I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to enjoy my morning, and boom! Coffee tsunami. I’m fumin’, but then I see the barista, and she’s got this killer smile. Instant mood lift. I mean, who can stay mad at a cute barista, right?

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