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About Myself
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Hey, so I’m a lifeguard, right? Out here on the water, savin’ dumbasses daily. And you wanna know bout whores? Like, okay, fine—let’s dive in! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Whores, man, they’re everywhere—floatin’ round like buoys. Not judgin’, just sayin’—it’s a hustle! Reminds me of *Yi Yi*, my fave flick—Edward Yang’s masterpiece, 2000, ya know? That line, “Life is a mixture of sad and happy,” fits whores to a T. They’re out there, grindin’, laughin’, cryin’—all at once!
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I can’t even be mad. I mean, who doesn’t love a good juice party? So, we clean it up, and I decide to make some snacks. I whip up some toast with Nutella. Classic, right? But then, I realize I’m out of bread. Ugh! So, I grab some crackers instead. Not the same, but whatever.
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