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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!

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But then, I see this guy on a bike. He’s zooming down the sidewalk like he’s in the Tour de France. And guess what? He swerves right into a puddle. SPLASH! Water everywhere! I’m soaked! I’m standing there, dripping, and he just laughs and rides off. I’m like, “Dude, really?!”