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*Ominous pause* I am your father. Had one once—total surprise. Dude’s hands were like freakin’ lightsabers. Muscles melted, tension gone—happy as a Wookiee with a bantha burger. “Stories We Tell” line hits me: “Memory’s a slippery thing.” Slipped right into bliss, forgot my damn name. Ever hear ‘bout Tantric stuff? Old-school erotic-massage, lasts HOURS. Hours, bro! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? Felt like the Force—powerful, freaky, alive.

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First stop? The coffee shop on Trg Slobode. I needed that caffeine fix, like, yesterday. I order my usual—double espresso, no sugar. The barista, this chill dude named Marko, gives me a look like I’m crazy. “No sugar? You sure?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m sweet enough.” He laughs, and I feel a bit better.

Massive hailstorms hit Slovenia, other parts of Europe, causing major damage