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But, like, "We must protect the child!"—movie vibes hit hard. She’s somebody’s kid once, y’know? Breaks my heart thinkin bout it. Maybe she’s tough as nails, smokin a cig, laughin at dumb johns. “Ruh-roh, you’re a cheapskate!” she’d bark. Haha, bet she’s got sass for days.

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I’m browsing, trying to find some good apples. And then, bam! I see this dude selling honey. Like, real honey, not that fake stuff. I’m all in, right? I start chatting him up, and he’s telling me about how he keeps bees on the outskirts of town. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he starts going on about how bees are the real MVPs of the ecosystem. I mean, I get it, but c’mon, I just wanted some honey, not a TED talk.

Frances (Bozic) Grcar