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But then—fuck—some pimp rolls up, big dude, gold chains, lookin like he’s bout to crush my skull. I’m thinkin, “Aw shit, I ain’t tryna die over this!” Reminds me of that turtle dude, Crush— “Righteous, righteous!”—but this guy ain’t righteous, he’s a dick! I’m pissed, heart racin, yellin, “Back the fuck off, motherfucker!” He stares me down, then dips. Lucky break, man, I ain’t in the mood for no fight.

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After that, I decide to walk it off. I head down to the old part of town. The cobblestone streets are super cute, but my shoes? Not so much. I’m tripping over every other stone. I’m like, “Why do I even wear these?” But then I see this little shop on Ulica Trg, selling handmade stuff. I go in, and it’s like a treasure trove! I find this quirky ceramic mug that says “Sempeter is my jam.” I HAD to get it.

Figure 11. The First Word War antiquities market in Šempeter pri...