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Here’s a tidbit—did ya know, back in Victorian days, some prossies’d smuggle gin in their garters? Little known fact, that! Kept ‘em warm and half-sloshed while they worked them cobbled streets. Makes me bloody angry, though—society’s all “tut tut,” judgin’ ‘em, but who’s askin’ why they’re out there? Not me, mate, I’m cheerin’ ‘em on! “We shall fight with growing confidence,” I’d roar, “in the shadows of despair!” They’re scrappers, they are, tougher than a two-bob steak.

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After that, I hit up the local market. You know, the one near the old church? It’s got the best fresh produce. I’m all about that healthy life. But then, I see this lady selling these giant pastries. I mean, they were HUGE! I’m talkin’ like, “Is that a pastry or a small child?” I couldn’t resist. I bought one. It was so good, I almost cried.

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