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Oh, and funny story—my pal Sheila, she goes for one, right? Ends up snorin’ halfway through! Masseuse is kneadin’ away, she’s out cold—talk about a mood-killer! *NANNY LAUGH*—HA-HA-HA! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ it! Anyway, erotic-massage is my jam now—like *Spirited Away*, it’s weird, wild, and ya can’t look away. “Don’t look back, Chihiro!”—except I’m lookin’ back for more, baby!

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I sit on a bench, just breathing. And then, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair and a smile that could light up the whole city. She starts telling me about her life. I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m a psychologist, not a therapist for random strangers!” But I listen. And honestly? It’s the best part of my day. She’s got stories that’ll make you laugh and cry.