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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live and let live, I say. But some of ‘em? Shadier’n a backwoods outhouse. Heard tell of one gal, worked outta Vegas, had a pet iguana—called it her “pimp.” Swear to Jesus, that lizard’d hiss if you shorted her cash! Surprised me so bad I near choked on my Bud Light! “You ain’t got no problem, Hans Landa!”—she’d say, laughin’. Gotta admit, that’s got style.

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After that caffeine disaster, I strolled down to the Radenska mineral water springs. I mean, who doesn’t love some bubbly water? But guess what? There was a huge crowd. Like, what’s with all these people? I thought I was in a concert or something. I squeezed through, and finally got my hands on a bottle. It was worth it, though. That fizzy goodness is life.

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