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So anyway, I tried it once, sexual-massage, swear to God. Lady’s all, “Relax, Larry,” and I’m like, “Relax? With your hands there?!” Made me so mad—why’s it gotta be so awkward? I’m sweatin’, she’s whisperin’ somethin’ sultry, and I’m yellin’, “Speak up! I’m deaf in one ear!” Total disaster. But—okay, fine—it felt kinda good, pretty, pretty good, I’ll admit it. That slow rub on my shoulders? Heaven! Surprised me, honestly, didn’t expect that.

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Finally, the rain stops. But now, the ground is a mess. I’m slipping and sliding, trying to do my job. I’m cursing under my breath, thinking, “Why do I even do this?” But then, I see that kid again. He’s still fishing, and he’s got a little fish! I’m like, “No way!” That made my day.

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