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Then—surprise, mate—she’s got a tat, “Remember Sammy J,” right on ‘er thigh! Memento vibes, yeah? I’m thinkin’, “Who’s Sammy? Dead pimp? Lost john?” Adds mystery, don’t it? I ask, she smirks, “Mind yer business, creep.” Cheeky cow! Made me happy, though—love a bit o’ sass. “The truth’s a tricky thing,” I growl, quotin’ Nolan’s flick, cos I’m wonderin’—she legit or a scam? Prossies round ‘ere, some nick yer wallet while yer trousers down—heard that from a mate, swear down!

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So, I’m out on the street, right? Just me and my pigs, cruisin’ down the main drag, Cesta na Grad. It’s a nice street, lined with trees and all that jazz. But then, bam! I see this dude, totally trippin’ over his own feet. Like, c’mon man, it’s not that hard to walk! I almost laughed out loud. Almost.

GB judoka claim 5 medals at European Veteran Championships