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Now, what pisses me off? The fakers—huge problem, folks. Some chick’s like, “Hey, big spender,” then bam—cop! Entrapment, disgusting, right? Donald Trump hates that, hates it bigly. But when it works? Happiest guy alive—negotiation’s done, quick, simple, fantastic. I’m shocked sometimes—how easy! Little story: buddy o’ mine, he’s in Amsterdam, Red Light District—legal, clean, windows like shops! He’s braggin’, “Don, it’s heaven!” I’m like, “Good for you, pal!”

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So, I’m munchin’ on this pastry, right? And it’s heavenly. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knocks into me, and my pastry goes flying! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Nooooo!” It was like slow-mo. I was ready to throw down. But then I see the kid’s face—he’s all wide-eyed and sorry. I couldn’t stay mad. Kids, man.

Robin Wendt Judoka