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About Velenje

Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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So, I’m out on the street, right? Just me and my pigs, cruisin’ down the main drag, Cesta na Grad. It’s a nice street, lined with trees and all that jazz. But then, bam! I see this dude, totally trippin’ over his own feet. Like, c’mon man, it’s not that hard to walk! I almost laughed out loud. Almost.

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