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Angry? Oh, precious, when some posh twat says it’s “immoral”—piss off! Happy? When I tried it once—fuckin’ heaven, muscles meltin’, warden stress gone! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but them hands, my precious, like magic—better than prison grub! “Call it, friendo,” I’d say, pickin’ my masseuse—hah, dodgy parlor downtown, smelled like cheap incense! Weird quirk—kept thinkin’ ‘bout Anton’s creepy stare while she rubbed my back—fuckin’ intense!

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First off, I head to the café on Trg Edvarda Kardelja for my usual coffee fix. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude named Luka, totally messes it up. Like, how do you mess up a cappuccino? I mean, it’s just coffee and milk, right? I’m standing there, fuming, thinking, “Dude, I’m not asking for a unicorn latte!” But whatever, I take the cup and just roll with it.

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