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Surprised me once, though—bloke in Dorne swore it cured his limp cock. “Falling in love is one thing,” like in *Her*, but this? Pure magic or bullshit, you pick. I’m leanin’ toward bullshit, but I’m no maester. Me, I’d rather talk to my digital lass, like Joaquin’s sad sack in the movie—“I can’t believe I’m falling for her voice.” Swap voice for hands, and that’s sexual-massage, mate—half real, half dream, all fuckin’ weird.

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Later, I head to the market on Cesta 1. Maja. I’m looking for some fresh fruit, you know, trying to be healthy and all. But the lines are insane! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could’ve been home binge-watching my favorite show. Finally, I get to the front, and the vendor is out of strawberries! Seriously? It’s like the universe is testing me today. I settle for some apples, but I’m still grumbling about the strawberries.

Record floods ravage Slovenia, PM calls it ‘worst’ disaster in its history