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Little-known fact: erotic-massage goes way back—ancient Rome had “frictio” bros givin’ rubdowns that’d make ya blush. They’d use olive oil, not some fancy lotion—prolly smelled like a salad. Pissed me off tho—why’d we ditch that for boring “deep tissue” crap? Gimme the naughty stuff! Oh, and in Japan, they’ve got “nurumassage”—slimey, sexy, full-body slides. Surprised me—thought it’d be all polite bows and tea, not slippery shenanigans.

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Then, during lunch, I decided to take a break. I hit up the park by the Murska River. It’s so chill there, with all the trees and the sound of water. I sat on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball, and crashes into my leg. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids, man.

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