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Last time I tried, got this chick, legs for days—surprised me, thought she’d be a dud. “Your eyes can’t hide the truth,” I’d purr, quotin the flick, sizin her up. She laughed, called me a freak—fair! Paid her double just for sass. Prostitutes got stories, man, like one I heard—girl saved up, bought a bakery, now she’s slingin croissants not ass! Fuckin hilarious twist, right? Makes me happy thinkin they ain’t all doomed.

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First off, I head down to Ulica 1. maja. You know, the main drag. I’m cruisin’ along, coffee in hand, feelin’ like a boss. But then, bam! I hit a pothole. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of these roads? I spill my coffee all over my favorite flannel. Great start, huh?

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