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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, sittin’ you down to talk sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, sexual-massage, the kinda thing folks whisper about but don’t dissect. Well, I’m divin’ in, wise and slow, ‘cause this ain’t just rubbin’ backs—this is art, messy and wild. Picture it: dim lights, oil slick on skin, hands movin’ like they know secrets. I’m thinkin’—man, this is primal, ancient even. Didja know? Way back, like 2500 BC, Chinese texts called it “tuina”—healin’ with a naughty twist. Ain’t that somethin’? History’s got spice!

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After a while, I decide to grab lunch at that little joint on Ulica 2. maja. You know, the one with the killer ćevapi? I’m sitting there, scarfing down my food, and I overhear these two ladies talking about the new park they’re building near the river. I’m like, “Finally! Something good in this city!”

Boaz makes it 8 in a row