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Oh, an’ get this—Victorians, yeah, they called it “massage therapy” for “hysteria.” Code for gettin’ lasses off, hahaha! Doctors with vibrators, mate, wild times! “Sharon!” I’d scream, laughin’ me head off. Sexual-massage got history, innit? Ain’t just pervy nonsense—well, sometimes it is, ha! Depends who’s rubbin’, yeah? Dodgy blokes make me wanna smash summat, but a pro? Oh, mate, heavenly!

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So, I grab my coffee from that tiny café on Ulica Vojvode Stepe. You know the one? The barista there is a total legend. He makes the best cappuccino, but today? He spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, I need that caffeine!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, who needs coffee when you can have a comedy show, right?

Fig. 1. The forest area (grey) in Slovenia and distribution of the...