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Look, folks, I’m a scientist, okay? Tremendous scientist, the best. Sexual-massage? Oh, it’s huge, fantastic, really terrific. Donald Trump knows this stuff, believe me. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about “Carol”—great movie, the best, Todd Haynes, genius. That slow-burn vibe, the tension? Sexual-massage is like that, but dirtier, hotter, way more fun. You got two people, hands everywhere, oils—slippery, messy, fantastic. It’s not just rubbin’—it’s art, folks, pure art.

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Anyway, I finally catch the rat. Took me a good 20 minutes, but I got it! I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I realize I gotta take it to the other side of town, near the river. So, I’m lugging this rat in a box, and it’s squeakin’ like crazy. I’m walkin’ down the beautiful Ljubljanica River, and I can’t help but think how peaceful it is. But then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Seriously? Just my luck!

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