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One time, I read, old Roman guys, they do this too! Naked, oily, in big bath—sound like party I no invited to! I yell, “Why no tell Borat?!” My head, it spin, I want try, but wife, she say, “No, you smell bad already.” Pfft, she no fun! I exaggerate maybe, but sexual-massage, it big deal, yes? You lie down, lady touch you, maybe happy end, maybe not—suspense like movie!

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Finally, I catch it again, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re not gettin’ away this time!” I take it to the edge of town, where the fields are. I’m thinkin’ I’m doin’ a good deed, right? But then, I see a bunch of kids playin’ soccer. They spot me and start laughin’. “Look at the rat guy!” they shout. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kiddos!”

HAROLD LASKO Obituary (2014) - Avon, OH