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About Celje

So, sexual-massage—ain’t just some rubdown, nah. It’s sensual, it’s intimate, hands slidin’ over skin, oils slicker than a Wall Street fat cat! I’m tellin’ ya, it’s art—like a melody you feel in yer bones. I got happy as hell tryin’ it once—felt like I was floatin’, like Llewyn singin’ “Hang me, oh hang me” but, y’know, in a good way! Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this stuff—called “tantric touch”—to “balance their chi.” Bullshit? Maybe, but it worked for ‘em!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a cat stuck in a tree on Cankarjeva. Seriously? A cat? I mean, I love cats, but c’mon! I’m dispatching emergency services, not the feline rescue squad! But hey, it’s Kranj. You gotta roll with it. So, I send a couple of guys over. They’re laughing, I’m laughing. It’s a whole thing.

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