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About Ptuj

Little fact for ya—did ya know erotic-massage goes back centuries? Ancient Greeks were at it, callin’ it “body worship”—sounds posh, right? Bet they weren’t usin’ cheap-ass lotion from Tesco, though! Makes me happy thinkin’ of some toga-wearin’ geezer gettin’ oiled up, but I’m ragin’ when I see today’s lot butcherin’ it. Had this one bird—tattooed, all attitude—give me a rubdown so good I nearly cried, “Lord, give me strength!”—another Ida line, coz it felt holy, mate. Then some prat last week—hands like sandpaper, no rhythm—made me wanna shove his head in a blender!

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After our epic swim, we grab some dinner at this little place on the edge of town. The food is bomb! I’m talking homemade pasta and the best wine. I’m in heaven. But then, I spill wine all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m laughing it off, but inside, I’m like, “Great, now I look like a mess.”

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