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Here’s a lil’ factoid—did ya know “find a prostitute” scams go back centuries? In old London, dudes would fake robberies to cover payin’ for a quickie. Same game, different era! This guy though—he’s sloppy. Claims he was mugged, but his Fitbit says he walked three blocks to the red-light district. I’m cacklin’—what a moron! “The sin remains hidden,” like Haneke says, but not from me, baby! I’m too good!

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But then, as I’m walking back, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me! I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by. She just shakes her head and mutters something in Slovene. I can’t even be mad. I mean, I probably looked ridiculous.

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