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Me fave bit? When they hit that spot – oof, fireworks! Like, “Humans built me to love,” from the film, yeah? Built for pleasure, us lot! Once had this lass in Soho, hands like a goddess, nearly wept, I did. “Why didn’t they tell me?” – that’s me, gobsmacked at how bloody good it was. Cost a few quid, mind – wallet’s sobbing – but worth it, innit? Total *carpe diem* moment.

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So, I step out, and boom! It’s raining. Like, seriously? I thought we were done with this nonsense. I mean, it’s Horjul, not a water park! I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. And then, I see this dude on the corner of Cesta 1. maja, trying to sell umbrellas. I’m like, “Bro, you’re a genius!” But then I realize, he’s charging like 15 euros for a flimsy piece of fabric. No thanks, man. I’ll take my chances with the rain.

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