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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, I’m a Program Director, diggin’ into weird stuff daily, but this? This takes the carrot cake! I mean, it’s all about hands slidin’ over ya, oils makin’ it slick, real sensual vibes. Watched “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” again last night—y’know, my fave—and it hit me: erotic-massage is like Gigolo Joe, smooth-talkin’ and pleasin’, but with a twist! “What do you want me to do?” he’d purr, right? Same deal here, ‘cept it’s real fingers, not robot ones.

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Finally, the bus arrives, and I hop on. It’s packed, of course. I squeeze in next to this guy who smells like he just ran a marathon. I’m trying to breathe through my mouth, but it’s no use. We’re cruising down through the center, passing by the beautiful Church of St. Mary. I love that place, but today? Not feeling it.

Epidemiologist's assessment: The coronavirus epidemic in Slovenia is calming down