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Here’s a little factoid for ya—didja know in ancient Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs? True story! Stand out from the “good girls,” right? I’m imaginin’ that now—blonde wig, toga, standin’ there like, “Hey, big boy, 5 denarii!” Hilarious! But today? It’s all back alleys and shady Craigslist vibes—makes me wanna scream! I’m thinkin’, why’s this still a thing? Legalize it already, tax it, make it less… grimy! I’m pissed, okay—pissed at the system!

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But then, boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, huh? I’m standing there, looking like a walking coffee stain. The barista, this dude named Miguel, just laughs. “You need a bib, man!” Thanks, Miguel. Real supportive.

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