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Argh! I’m ready! Erotic-massage, mateys! It’s wild, slippery fun! Picture this—me, SpongeBob, Art Director extraordinaire, sittin’ in me pineapple, thinkin’ ‘bout sensual vibes. Like in me fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James*—ya know, “a fella’s hands linger too long,” slow and tense, right? That’s erotic-massage for ya! Not just a rubdown, it’s art, barnacles! I’m HYPED talkin’ ‘bout it!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I duck into a shop on Ulica 4. julija. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got the best knick-knacks. I’m browsing, and I find this ridiculous gnome statue. I’m like, “I need this in my life!”

At least three people died in the floods in Slovenia: Villages cut off, roads under water, evacuation by helicopter