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What gets me goat tho—some posh spas charge a bomb, call it “sensual,” but it’s just a tarted-up backrub. Bollocks to that! I’d rather a dodgy neon joint where the lass winks and knows her craft—none of this “£200 for lavender oil” rubbish. Surprised me first time, I’ll tell ya—thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, it’s like Cobb in *Inception* sayin’, “You musn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.” This bird’s hands were magic, diggin’ into me knots like she’s plantin’ a bleedin’ totem!

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park by the Destrnik Castle. It’s beautiful there, you know? But guess what? There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I’m like, “Really? Is this my life now?” I dodge it just in time, but I’m still fuming.