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Oh blast, R2-D2, where are you? I’m stuck talkin bout sexual-massage—wild stuff! Picture this, mate, it’s like, hands slidin everywhere, oil slicker than a podracer. Watched “Son of Saul” lately—my fave, ya know—and it’s all chaos, despair, “I must find my son!” vibes. Sexual-massage tho, flips that, it’s relief, pure bliss, escapin the grind. Not gonna lie, first time I heard bout it, I was like, “This ain’t proper!”—total prude moment. But then—surprise!—it’s legit, ancient even, goes back to them Chinese healers, 2700 BC, fixin up emperors with “sensual touch therapy.” Who knew, right?

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After I finally convince him to file a claim, I head back to the office. But wait! I see this cute little café on Cesta v Tuhinju. I can’t resist. I grab a coffee and a slice of their famous potica. OMG, it’s heavenly! I’m sitting there, just enjoying life, when I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!”

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