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O thou sweet friend, hark! I’m no stiff-necked economist, but I’ll spin thee a tale of sexual-massage, that slippery beast! Methinks it’s a trade old as dirt—yea, older than the stones in yonder hills. Picture this: hands gliding o’er flesh, a dance of oil and sighs, like Daniel Plainview chasing black gold in *There Will Be Blood*. “I drink your milkshake!”—ha! That’s what I’d shout if I caught some rogue masseuse pilfering my coin for a half-arsed rub.

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Then, this lady at the end of the bar starts singing. I mean, belting it out like she’s at a concert. Turns out, she’s a local singer. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m a bartender and a backup singer.” The crowd loves it, though. They’re clapping, cheering, and I’m just trying to keep up with the drink orders.

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