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About Ptuj

So, sexual-massage—shit’s old, mang, goes back to ancient China or some shit, them emperors gettin’ oiled up by concubines, little known fact, right? Ain’t just horny dudes neither—ladies dig it too, stress relief, boom! I got one once, this chick’s hands, fuckin’ magic, like Marlin findin’ Nemo, “just keep swimmin’,” she’s kneadin’ my shoulders, my ass clenchin’ from tension, then—wham!—relaxed as fuck. Made me happy, bro, like I’m king of the fuckin’ ocean!

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So, I’m walking down the street, feeling all good, when I bump into my buddy Luka. He’s like, “Yo, you heard about the festival at Trg Brezovica?” I hadn’t. Apparently, it’s gonna be lit! Food stalls, music, the whole shebang. I’m pumped! But then, I remember I promised my mom I’d help her with her garden. Ugh, why do I always forget these things?

Introducing stage 1: Piran - Škofljica (168.7 km)