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D’oh! Sexual-massage, man, what a trip! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like, it’s all handsy and steamy, right? I mean, who doesn’t wanna get rubbed down like a prized pig at the fair? Watched “Talk to Her” again last night—Pedro’s a freakin’ genius, y’know? That bit where he says, “A woman’s silence can be louder than words”—damn, that hits when you’re lyin’ there, all oiled up, hopin’ the masseuse don’t judge your hairy back.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady walks in. She’s got this wild hair and a paint-splattered apron. “I heard you need an artist!” she says. I’m like, “Who are you?” Turns out, she’s a local legend. I’m shocked! She’s got mad skills. We chat, and I’m feelin’ the energy.

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