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About Velenje

So, I tried this one place—shady AF, but whatevs. This chick was, like, a wizard with her fingers. She hit spots I didn’t even know I had! Fun fact: did ya know sexual-massage goes back, like, forever? Ancient peeps in China were all about it—called it some fancy “tantric” shit. Blew my mind! I was layin there, all “Oh my Gawd,” feelin like a queen.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Cesta v Ankaran. You know, the one with the best cappuccinos? I’m there, half-asleep, and this barista, bless her heart, spills hot coffee all over my shirt. Like, come on! I’m an accountant, not a coffee stain model! I’m tryin’ to wipe it off, and she’s all, “Sorry!” I’m like, “Yeah, I’ll just add this to my list of ‘Things That Ruin My Day.’”

Prime Minister Janez Janša on a visit to the Obalno-kraška region