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I tried it once, bro—got this chick massagin’ me, hands all over, and I’m like, “Whoa, calm down, Tony’s gonna lose it!” Made me happy as fuck, but pissed too—why ain’t this everywhere? Society’s all tight-assed about it, actin’ like it’s dirty. Bullshit! It’s art, man, pure art. “Talk to Her” style—silent connection, y’know? “Her skin’s so soft,” that’s what I’m thinkin’ while she’s kneadin’ me like dough. Surprised the hell outta me how it’s not just horny vibes—relaxes you deep, like soul-level shit.

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After my meal, I’m feeling good. I decide to take a stroll along the beach. Marine Parade’s got this beautiful stretch of sand, and the waves are crashing. I sit down for a bit, just soaking it all in. But then, I see this guy trying to impress his date. He’s showing off his “skills” on a paddleboard. Spoiler alert: he falls in. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you’re not a dolphin!

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