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About Malmo

“We shall fight in the fields!” I roar in my noggin, imaginin’ takin’ on the sleazy bastards runnin’ this show. Fun fact—Amsterdam’s red-light district? Started in the 14th century! Sailors, horny buggers, kickin’ it off. History’s wild, mate. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up—name’s Ruby, she says. “How much?” I ask, casual-like. “50 quid,” she smirks. Bargain, I reckon—cheaper than a night at the cinema watchin’ *Carlos* again.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts yelling about a cat stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, I’m trying to tell a story here!” But the crowd’s all about the cat. So, I switch gears. I’m like, “Alright, let’s save the cat!” We all rush to the tree on Hantverkargatan. I’m climbing up, feeling like a superhero. But then I realize, I’m terrified of heights. My heart’s racing, and I’m like, “What am I doing?!”

From the land of Abba, Ikea and Volvo