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She’s a proper mystery, this bird. Heard she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag – didn’t even notice till he’s wavin’ his arm, “Where’s me time?!” Made me cackle, that did! Crafty lass, gotta respect it – mumble mumble – tho it pisses me off too, cos who does that? Me, I’d be too clumsy, drop the watch, smash it, oops! “I’ve abandoned my child!” – nah, she ain’t got no kid, but she’s ditchin’ morals like Plainview ditchin’ his boy.

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By now, it’s late afternoon, and I’m exhausted. I grab a quick bite at that little café on Torslandavägen. You know the one? The one with the best kanelbullar? I’m scarfing down a bun, and I can’t help but laugh at the day. I mean, who else gets to save a dog, wrestle a cat, and catch a parrot all in one day?

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