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Sex-dating’s a gamble, though—half these clowns catfishin’, usin’ pics from 10 years ago. Hilarious but fucked up! I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ me, pal!” Gotta be sharp, like Remy dodgin’ knives in that kitchen. Oh, and don’t get me started on the weirdos—guy messaged me once, “You into feet?” I’m like, “Fuck off, freak!” Blocked his ass quick.

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After the rain, the sun comes out, and everything smells fresh. I’m walking back, feeling like a million bucks in my new sweater. But then, I see my sheep have wandered off! I’m like, “No way!” I sprint down to the park, and there they are, munching on some random dude’s garden. I’m yelling, “Get outta there!”

English Benedictine Congregation welcomes three new communities