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Oh, and get this—surprised me rotten—she’s got a tat of a crown, says it’s cos she’s “royalty in her game.” Proper Tenenbaums vibe, all quirky and grand. I’m thinkin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” like Royal says—cos here I am, muckin about with a prossie, lovin every daft second. It’s messy, it’s mad, but blimey, it’s alive—ain’t that the point?

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Finally, I got my hands on some strawberries. Sweet, juicy, and totally worth the wait. I was feeling good again. But then, as I’m walking back, I see this street performer on Östra Storgatan. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda nice. I stop to listen, and he catches my eye. He winks at me! I’m like, “Whoa, chill dude, I’m just here for the music.”

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