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But, omg, the drama tho—clients get salty if girls cancel last min. I’m cacklin’, like, “Dude, she’s not your gf, chill!” One time, this guy left a review—swear it said, “She stole my watch, 5 stars.” I’m dead. Humor’s dark, but I’m here for it. Oh, and the app’s got this secret code thingy—girls say “coffee” if they’re feelin’ unsafe. Smart af.

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m walking down Storgatan, and it’s like, where’s everyone? It’s a ghost town! I mean, c’mon, Surahammar, wake up! I needed coffee, like, yesterday. Finally found a café on the corner of Storgatan and Kungsbacken. The barista was super chill, but the coffee? Ugh, tasted like burnt rubber. I was like, “Dude, did you forget the beans?” He just laughed. I was not amused.

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